Now before yall start wondering if you know Nurse Nectar, the answer is no. We didn’t all go to different school together or anything like that. In fact, Nurse Nectar was home schooled in a decent neighborhood.
What else? Oh yeah, I’m reading your mind. You want to know if Nurse Nectar is a male or female? Well, there is a shortage of male nurses in the field, so, you never know. However, you will find out soon, as we begin to solve the issues Nurse Nectar is having. For right now, it doesn't matter.
See the truth of the matter is, Nurse Nectar is pretty smart, but somehow manages to make critical mistakes that cause stress in relationships. That’s why Dr Juice is here. So here’s an example of a conversation between the two of us.
NN: Hey!
DJ: What up doe?
NN: Yeah, I’m having trouble figuring out what to do about my date.
DJ: Tell me more.
NN: My date always orders the most expensive stuff on the menu.
DJ: Then choose a cheaper restaurant.
NN: Thanks Dr. Juice!
DJ: No problem
So if you get caught in this dilemma, here’s what you do. There are many exit plans you can use, but I’ll share with you a few.
here comes the drink selection first question you ask is "WHAT ARE YOUR DRINK SPECIALS?"
a indirect way of sayin u better choose one of the above if you want a drink but what does your date do order a damn $18 mojito or sumthin like that.
now I know yall wonderin on how can i nip this drink situation in the butt wit out lookin cheap as hell well here ya go:
tell your date that the drinks are really watered down and you wouldnt even waste your time ordering an alcoholic drink like that because they are not the HIGH prices that they are being charged "put an emphasis on the price that they cost" and say that you brought in your own liquor so order a lemonade and you will be that persons personal bartender (its cheap but cute makes the other person feel kind of important)
tell waiter/waitress that your date is 20 and that their ID is fake and ask them do they want to get fired for serving to a minor "but do it in a jokingly manner that does not raise any suspicion of you being cheap"
Now, I’m sure we’ve all been there. Male or female, and going out on a date where it was our turn to pay and the person wants to order up the entire third page of the menu, with no regard for the 2 for $20 hint you just gave by ordering a $7.00 cheeseburger you could get at McDonalds for $4.00 or in a kidding manner say you can have whateva you want from the kids menu and based upon the reaction that you get go from there. Maybe when you spoke about going with spinach dip for an appetizer they thought you were buying based on a baller’s budget. So what did they do? They order meats from two different animals You know… Steak and Shrimp. Ribs and Chicken. All this because you ordered Ham and Burger you lookin at ya date like this motherfucka right here takin my kindness for fullness.
1. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom right after the waitress leaves. Find the waitress and give her five dollars to say that they’re out of one of the meats your date has chosen. Then come back to hear the bad news and make some compliments to your date like saying, “You’re got me feeling spicy like a fire cracker shrimp.” Or, “You’re as tender as a chicken strip.”
2. Excuse yourself to the bathroom and resort to the tried and true… Fake the stomach ache! Yeah, you saw something in the bathroom that is making this entire place smell bad enough to have you call Earl collect. Add in the fact that the person in there ate the same thing your date just ordered. Explain that you need fresh air quickly and ask the date to go to the waitress and cancel the order.
3. if all else fails complain find the smallest thing wrong and you take that and run wit it it has worked for me in the past I had $40 for my homecoming date my date ordered her ass of so I complained that there was something wrong with my food I got my food for free and had to pay for hers and saving me a nice $20
Once you’re in the car and on your way elsewhere you can decide if you feel good enough to get some French Fries from McDonalds and a Sprite to calm your stomach or you go healthy and hit a local subway for the $5 footlongs. Let your date order what they want and you’re out of the situation for under $10.00.
So, what have we learned here today? Any date that orders 2 or more meats is greedy and needs to be paying for the meal. When all else fails, Fake the Ache.
We’ve also learned that sometimes we need to consult with someone when we have a problem. And in this case, consult with a doctor... Dr. Juice that is.
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